No One Is Immune

No one is immune to catching Lyme.

Remember to use repellent.
Check for ticks.
If infected seek immediate help even if you do not develop the "bull's eye rash" associated with Lyme.
(I never got a rash)
Do not take no for an answer.  This is your health, your life.

New Year New Woes

I'm tired this morning so I'm not sure how much I'll be able to write.  When I get fatigued my concentration levels plummet.  Nevertheless the show must go on.  

I don't normally start my new year with resolutions like everyone else.  I believe in setting short-term goals all year long.  It helps make them a little more obtainable. Goals weren't even on my list for this year at all though. Having a productive day was a goal enough.  By January I was on yet another antibiotic.  My 4th to be on now.  The visits to the lab for blood work was becoming so routine that the person drawing my blood and I would talk about our families and how everyone was doing.    Doctor's visits were growing mundane.  I had come to realize that what I had thought would have been soon and over with in a matter of 6 months was going to be much longer.  Doc told me at the least another year.  All the antibiotics had taken a toll on my gut.  It had gotten to where I could not eat because of the pain and when you kill the bad bacteria when on an antibiotic you are killing the good as well.  My stomach was a constant burn and now in addition to the antibiotic and the arthritis medication I was now on something for a yeast infection in my stomach! The doctor was not fond of the fact that I couldn't eat or sleep because of the pain.  She also wasn't too excited to find that I had lost over 20 lbs in a month.  (I didn't see the problem there.)  She sent me to a gastroenterologist.  The GI doc thought that it was possible I had a simple food allergy going on.  I had also suffered from acid reflux for years.  She ordered a colonoscopy and endoscopy.  It was more work preparing for the procedure than the time it took to perform the procedure.  Man that drink was NASTY!  I was done in a matter of 10-15 mins and then recovery and then on my way home.  Results.... severe erosion of the esophagus and stomach lining, deep ulcers, hiatal hernia, and spastic colon, and candida (yeast over-growth) WOW.  Add this all to the list of other stuff.  Time now for a change in diet.

This diet is strict and I still attempt to follow it in moderation.  No spicy foods, no caffeine, acidic foods such as tomato, no breads, pasta, rice, no sugar, no alcohol. Let's see, that leaves me green foods, and fruits, and some meats.  Well, I'm happy to announce I have cut super duper back on the alcohol (mainly because I cannot tolerate it anymore) sugar was easy, pasta and breads were surprisingly easy, but caffeine? Come on.  I have started limiting my intake to a cup of coffee about 4-5 times a week.

I started to get relief when changing all of those things.  Heartburn at 1AM keeping me up all night started to go away.  My stomach eventually started feeling normal again. I knew I was going to have to change my lifestyle of rich foods, fast foods, and processed foods for the rest of my life due to the damage already done.

I started feeling more and more helpless.  I hadn't had a good herx in a few weeks.  The good days and bad days were all starting to run together.  I wanted to work out and I tried on occasion when my knees would allow it.  I even started pursuing a dream of mine I'd had for years.  Soap making.  I had baseball season coming up for the boys, and a spring break trip to make in Missouri.  I started growing very numb to the fact I was sick and there was a slow festering of frustration lurking it's ugly head around the corner. I wanted to give up. This was becoming no way to live. 

Holiday Hangover

Thanksgiving came and went, emotions settled down for the time being and it was now time to focus on Christmas.  I usually cannot CANNOT wait to decorate for Christmas.  It is traditionally, for me, the day after Thanksgiving.  That's right.  While everyone else is waking and shopping and standing in mad lines I am busy getting my Clark Griswold on.  This year I was in bed.  I shopped on Black Friday for only the second time ever.....from my bed.  I know I told you I spent 2 weeks stuck in bed already. When that time was up  I was ready to get out of my room and do some moving. It was crazy how much muscle I lost!  I was incredibly weak. One of my first outings was to the grocery store.  The kitchen and pantry really needed a mother's lovin after me being out of commission for so long.  My husband went with me.  I did good.  Making it all the way to the check out line before I gave out.  My body was locking up. Knees, hands, motor skills, speech, and this feeling that I get where it feels like the air is being squeezed out of my lungs with every breath I take.

When I was pregnant, I had this fear of my water breaking in public.  I just knew with every forceful kick that it was going to happen and I was going to be so humiliated and left feeling obligated to pick up the carpet cleaning bill somewhere. I'm sure you ladies reading will know exactly what I am speaking of.  Holla.
Well, not like celebration holla.  Just like a Word Up.
I have that fear all over again, but this time it is with shakes, with my speech that so easily becomes slurred, the absent mindedness.  I'm scared I'm going to be mistaken for the town drunk or the town junkie.  See, when I am having a "moment" it would be easy to compare me to such.  My brain is telling me to do one thing, but my body is doing something completely different.

Back to Christmas time.  I made it to the kids functions. I even managed to take some pretty snazzy pics of them for our Christmas cards.  If I know I'm going to be busy I will allow myself downtime. You may see me walking around at school, at the ball fields, at the store.  You may even see me cleaning my car, grocery shopping, or pulling weeds.  It would probably be easy for you to even pass judgment on me and say that I look well and that I don't look sick.  The battle is on the inside of my body.  I do what I can when I can for as long as I can.  I am learning to balance rest and activity, but during the Holiday months I was still trying to understand this lesson.   My tree was in my living room, undecorated until a week and half away from Christmas.  That was a long time for me. I honestly cannot even remember decorating the house or even shopping.  Baked goodies didn't get made this year.  No peanut brittle, no pretzels dipped in chocolate, no sugar cookies. Not here.  What I do remember though was painting wine glasses.

For several years I baked and decorated cakes.  I enjoyed it so much.  I've always liked being artsy and creative.  As I fell more and more ill I was also becoming more and more busy and I was not able to keep up.  My hands and back and legs would hurt too bad.  Believe it or not it takes strength to do cakes.  It also take a mental toll due to the concentration.  I just could not do it any more.  I slowly faded myself out only to do the occasional cake here and there now.  My kids do not even get my decorated cakes.  Kroger cupcakes it is these days.  Oh and there is the always delicious Baskin Robbins cake. Jussssst in case anyone ever needed to know that for any reason.

Painting glasses was so enjoyable due to the fact I was able to decorate and expel some of my creativity without the pain.  We retreated to the deer lease for a weekend where I painted the whole time while watching red birds.  I stayed just enough busy doing so until the hand and brain shaking started to get worse.  Now, I don't know how many of you know this, but you have to have a steady hand to paint, just like decorating a cake.  It's not rocket science.  It's simple math.
They call it brain shivers.  The shaking I can feel all the time.  Like a constant vibration.  Then there are the times where I shake and twitch and it's noticeable.  I will sometimes in public sit on my hands when it starts. For the life of me, I cannot remember Christmas Day, (begining of Alzheimer's)  and New Years was spent at home with the kids waking me up just 5 minutes before the countdown. Whew. Things by this time are really starting to catch up with me. It is so frustrating to have chunks of memory just vanish.  I do remember that I had to quit the glasses.  It was okay.  I had bigger plans.

Celebrities With Lyme

Here is a short list of well known's who have battled or are battling Lyme in no particular order.

Richard Gere-actor
Ben Stiller-actor
Christy Brinkley-model
Christy Turlington-model
Daryl Hall-singer
Former President George W Bush
David Letterman-comedian/host
Michael J Fox-actor (Parkinson's a result of Lyme)
Alice Walker-author
Nina Cherry-singer
Amy Tan-author
Jamie Lynn Sigler-actress
Parker Posey-actress
Ben Petrick-major league baseball player
David Mennes-MMA fighter
Joe Meeko-Mr USA/Mr Universe (passed at the age of 48 after his battle with Lyme)

...and drum roll.....the man who pushes the Earth away he doesn't do push-ups-Chuck Norris
Guess a tick was his kryptonite.

The Fat Tongue

There are days where I have the fat tongue.  You know, like you've just come out of surgery and are on a Demerol high kinda of tongue.  What's really cool (insert sarcasm look here) is when you are trying to have a conversation and you smooth forget simple words.  Just flat out go blank.
I recently have made a friend who has Lyme. I will talk more about her in a later entry.  She and I went to lunch one day and we were gone quite a while.  Mainly because I was so excited to find out I wasn't alone. When I got back home my daughter asked what took me so long.  To which I replied, "You know how sometimes when I'm talking to y'all I go blank and can't get my words out in a timely manner? Now imagine two people like that holding a conversation."

I feel like that scene from Bruce Almighty when Dave Carell's character as news anchor is being taken over. It can be quite humorous at times.