Giving Up

I have felt like non-stop poop for a week now.  My husband and his friend recently became business partners and now are running cattle.  We had to head to the property yesterday so he could do some mowing on the property.  It was nice to get out and be in the warm sunshine.  I actually was blessed with a good day yesterday.  I only had a few episodes of illness and pain.  It came in like a wave and they lasted for about an hour each time.  The fatigue is one thing I just cannot shake.  Then when I get a chance to nap or sleep I cannot get comfortable enough.  This morning the headache and neck cracking is back.  I have never had my neck pop before.  Just since starting treatment does it do this.  It's so gross to me.  My toes, feet, hips, elbows, finger have popped for years.  I have watched people crack their neck and it is so yucky to me.  Like the fingernails on the chalkboard feeling.  Now it's happening inside my own body!  Ebby Jeeby.  (That is jibberish for scary I think.  Something my mama has always said.)  I give a whole new meaning to pop locking and dropping.

We leave in a few weeks to take our kids on a cruise.  Two to be exact. I'm looking forward to the rest and sunshine.  Even though I rest at home a lot these days it's just not the same.  My brain will get a break.  Not to be confused with my mental check outs I tend to take when talking to my friends and family.

Next up neuro appointments and blood work galore.

I am not giving up though.  That would be too easy.  No way am I going through all of this only to give up.
I'm ready to run circle around people already.

Walk Run or Push Me

Somehow it is happening.  Texas is hosting it's first annual Lyme disease walk/run on March, 2 and it happens to be close to home for me.  It is being held in Houston at Discovery Green.
I am so excited for this for several reasons.  It will help raise awareness in our area and state, it put all of us Lymies into contact with one another, it allows the family to interact with one another, and it will raise money for research.

I have put a team together called Shaken Not Stirred and anyone is welcomed and encouraged to join.  Also if you look to the right of the page there is a box that you can donate any amount and the proceeds go to Texas Lyme Disease Association and the Tick-Borne Disease Alliance.

If you are interested in joining us for the walk/run and I know you want to. Here is the information.

GIVE LYME THE BOOT

I know it is early, but it is one day and so many of us can not thank you enough already for dedicating your time for our cause.

Taking The Good With The Bad

I hope every one's holidays were fun-filled and Santa brought you what you all wanted.  I did have a rather relaxing Christmas break.  I am learning more and more how to balance my time and energy.  Eating better, napping more.  If I spend one day over doing it I am in bed for days.  I am trying to juggle that better.  Family and friends have really stepped in to help more as well.  I could never express enough gratitude to all that have helped with the house, kids, food, or travel.

It's been a while since I last updated everyone.  I know there are those of you that may follow the bits and pieces on Facebook or Instagram.  My last blog entry was right before the doctor visit which I started the aggressive treatment. I was placed on 3 antibiotics while still continuing the anti-seizure meds and injections and supplements. Just as before, there are good days and bad.  The bad seem to be running into each other more and more.  I also told you that I would be visiting with a Neurologist familiar with Lyme.  She ordered all types of tests after confirming that I do have nerve damage.  Now the long process of finding out how much damage there is exactly.  We needed to get past December because of the costs of it all.

I flew to Dallas last week for a 72 hour video EEG. They made sure I was very comfortable.  I slept mostly which is what they prefer.  When I flew there, it was my first time to fly alone.  I think I did better on this flight than I ever have before.  I feel like such a big girl now.  Thank goodness for facetime.  I really missed my family.

The day I was released was the same day as my doc check-up.  My husband drove up the night before and got to the hotel about 1AM.  At 8:30AM I was finally allowed to take the wires and tape off my head.  After not being able to bathe all week, or wash my face and hair I was like a kid waiting anxiously for Christmas morning to arrive. It's a week later and I'm still washing goop out of my hair.

Doc appointment went well with my LLMD.  He added yet another med to start really attacking my Bartonella co-infection.  Can't kill the Lyme till the Bartonella is gone.  I'm on a total of 4 antibiotics now. Good times.  Good times.  I am also still maintaining a gluten-free diet and a diet full of fresher foods mainly fruits and veggies.  I even did a 21 day cleanse in December where I ate nothing BUT fruits and vegetables.

After my LLMD visit we went by the neurologists so that I could do a resting stress test and a cognitive memory test.  I learned two things. I can't hold my breath like I used to and I have a really bad case of CRS.  My reaction time has slowed horribly.  My cat-like reflexes are failing me.  I still have some 8 hour testing with the neurologist and an MRI.  I will see her in March to get the results from all the testing.

On our way home we had a tire practically blow on us.  It unraveled.  Blessed, we were only about a mile away from an exit into Corsicana.  We were able to find a tire shop to change it for us and my husband didn't have to do it himself.  It would have made for even a longer ride home.  Our trips are never dull that is for certain.  They are very taxing on us both and give us plenty of adventure and conversation for on our way back.

Now I want to share with you some good news and bad news.  I don't know about you, but I prefer to have my bad news first so I can get it out of the way, and since this is my blog....
Bad news first. I have been sick as a dog.  Good news.  I have been sick as dog.
Remember the whole thing with Lyme.  You have to get sick to get better.  Well, I am officially full blown herxing.  I couldn't even stand up in church the other day. I have brain shivers, hot and cold episodes so bad, shakes, breathing problems, water retention, sore throat, sick stomach, Bell's Palsy, and the arthritis pain and headaches are horrific.  My husband even had to carry me the other day from our bedroom into the living room so I could visit with everyone.  I am now on day 4 of my herx and was told it could last days or even months, but my doctor did tell me to expect it for about 5-6 months.  I know the flu is running rampant right now, so this will help a lot of you to relate.  Imagine the way you feel about day 3 with the flu, but you function.  You still get up, clean, cook, drive, visit with family and friends, go to church, go to your children's functions and sports, grocery shop, and the hardest part smile.  That is what I feel like everyday and have for years.  Now it is worse.  I know he will freak a little because he won't know this until he reads the blog, but I almost asked my husband to take me to the ER the other night.  The pain gets so horrible.
How is any of this good you ask?????
The pain means the Bartonella is dying off.  When our bodies hurt it's because our bodies are working to fight.  Herxing is the same reaction.  My body is working to kill the junk in it.  A huge toxin die-off.  There isn't one organ in my body that is getting a break right now. The sauna and Epsom salt baths help give me some relief.  So, this boils down to the old saying, "No pain, no gain."
I could use a LOT of gain for 2013.